Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon have separated, and the media clamors to know whether the split is due to the fact that Ryan’s considerable success has been overshadowed by his wife’s. You may remember that Reese Witherspoon won the Oscar for Best Actress in 2005 for her performance in Walk the Line.
The Successful Wife Equals Marital Doom theory just won’t die. The Connecticut Post ran a story (first published in the Sacramento Bee) about it recently. Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer discussed it on Today, and so did the women on The View.
It’s another form of the “a girl should always let the boy win” rule that our less-enlightened mothers taught us when we were children. The idea is that if you out-earn (or outshine) a man, he will dump you (or cheat on you, or just make your life generally miserable).
But hiding your light under a bushel to make a man feel good about himself is dangerous for two reasons: You’ll never reach your own potential. And you will likely attract men who need to control you to feel good about themselves.
While that may seem like a small thing when your romance is new and exciting, trust me, after a mortgage and a couple of kids, it could kill you. A very good friend of mine is married to a man who is threatened by her smallest successes (a longtime stay-at-home mother, she recently attempted to start a homebased business). Her husband’s response was to tell her that “nobody will want that ______.” On occasion, he has hit her.
As a result, she’s depressed and drinks too much (this is a woman who, as a girl, scored as “brilliant” on standardized tests). Instead of getting her into AA or rehab, he brings home cases of beer. She’s easy to control when she’s been drinking. (In case you’re wondering what kind of man I’m talking about, he’s a VP with a major corporation.)
I don’t know Reese Witherspoon or Ryan Phillippe, and I do hope the media have it wrong about the cause of the demise of their relationship. I hope their difficulties have nothing to do with her success, and that they can overcome them.
As for me, I’d rather be alone than spend my life with a man who didn’t want what’s best for me and who let his insecurities get in the way of my well-being. I hope you will not ever diminish yourself in your efforts to attract a man. The men who deserve you want you as you are. They will encourage your success. In fact, they’ll rejoice in it.
You deserve nothing less.
About The Author
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the happily married author of “How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams.” Check out her f*ree “Attracting True Love Holiday Action Plan” at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com/2006/11/attracting-true-love-your-holiday.html. Sign up for free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com.
You Can Attract Men If You Want
No matter whether you think you are attractive or not, you just can not be a shrinking violet and wait for a man to notice you. If you want to start a relationship with him, you should learn how to attract a man. The point is to know what he is thinking about. Now you can start working on becoming the type of woman that man wants. Just read the tips below and learn the secrets on how to attract a man and keep him hanging on to you.
Be responsible and more assertive. A timid and submissive woman has no place in a relationship these days, as many men no longer have too much interest with those women who simply agree with everything they say. So one of the most important points is to learn how to be a more take-charge kind of woman. Being like that, you will give that man an exciting challenge. So you should show that you know what you want and you are able to control your life.
Think about what you are engaged in out of work and your relationships, and make sure that you are working very actively to achieve your goal. Don’t be afraid of being active if you really want to have a date with a man, and that is much better than simply staying at home and waiting for your Prince Charming to come. Regardless of the appearance, a confident and self-assured woman definitely will catch men’s eyes.
Spend extra time and invest more cash into pampering yourself. However, you do not have to completely change the way you are just to make your future Mr. Right feel pleasant. To attract a man actually requires some effort on your part. In fact, you will feel much more comfortable with who you are if you can be sure that you are attractive enough to the opposite sex. But there are something more important than the appearance, and that is inner beauty. The simplest way is to pamper yourself with the sweet smile that will make yourself feel good. Once you get a positive response from that man, then it has been worth all the effort.
Do not be shy and make eye contact with him. It will never hurt to go out of your comfort zone and tend to be a little “crazy.” It is very important to make eye-to-eye contact and keep smiling.
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30-year-old held for robbing builder by posing as woman – Yahoo! India News
Mumbai, Jan. 12 — The police, on Monday, arrested a man for robbing a builder by posing as a woman. Last Tuesday, Irfan Khan (30) was robbed of his licenced revolver and Rs 40,000 cash by a daily wage labourer whom he had given a lift mistaking her to be a woman. The Charkop police said the accused has been identified as Javed Shaikh (30) who dressed as a woman at night to attract men and loot them. “Shaikh, posing as a woman, identified himself as Nisha and robbed Khan,” said Sanjay Banerjee, deputy commissioner of police zone XI. Shaikh, a Malwani resident is married and also has a daughter. “There are three cases like this registered against him in areas of Malwani, Charkop and Borivli,” added Banerjee. Police sources said Khan in his complaint has alleged that the incident happened on Link Road in Malad. A sari-clad woman in her early 30s signaled for a lift. She requested him to drop her at Charkop, as she was unable to find an autorickshaw. A source said that Khan agreed to drop her but later asked her to get down at a traffic signal, when he realised she was drunk.
He then registered a case of robbery at Charkop police station.
Hindustan Times
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March 26th, 2010 at 1:17 am
I have always enjoyed watching Reese Witherspoon in her movies at the theatre. Thanks for the post!